I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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