On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
