I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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