I hate all girls vehemently.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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