I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
