Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
