Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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