I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
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Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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