You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
