I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
