He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
