Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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