New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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