his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
