Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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