So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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