Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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