i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
