What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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