its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
