His apartment number was 69. I had to.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
