I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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