All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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