Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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