bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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