She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
