k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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