Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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