You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
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