i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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