I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
