using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
