My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
