she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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