are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You are a genius and a whore.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
