I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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