6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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