I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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