You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Bring me that man meat
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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