Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
