Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
