I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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