I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
