I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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