he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
