At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
