dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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