Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
