i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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