She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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