she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
