You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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