whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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