Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize