you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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