You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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