Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
