was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
