C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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