Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
