Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
