No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
